After a falling out with a friend a couple of years ago, I realised that I had been basing my value as a person on my relationships. I subconsciously believed that my worth depended on what my friends thought of me. It came as a shock when it dawned on me that I was trying so hard to be liked, that my closest friends really didn’t know anything about the real me (my hopes, dreams and fears), in spite of the amount of time we had spent together over many years.
All of my life I had struggled with fear, but once I let go of the dependency I had on the people around me, the most amazing thing happened – the fear that had plagued me vanished. It was very painful giving up the particular friendship I mentioned before, but over the months that followed I realised that I had a freedom I had never experienced before. Looking back three or four months later, I realised that I had not been afraid of anything since that day.
I don’t believe that this break through in my life was the result of not seeing that particular person any more, but rather that I finally reached the point where I began to look to God for my worth. I began to base my value on what God, who knows me better than anyone, thinks of me, rather than what others think of me.
There’s a lot of pressure these days to be something you are not, but I encourage anyone who is struggling with issues of self-worth, to be true to who you really are. God made you the way you are for a reason, and real value and purpose can only come when we truly believe that.
This blog is about a young woman who has grown up in a "church" environment but is only just starting to grasp the real meaning of being a follower of Jesus. I am wife to an amazing husband, a mother to two beautiful children, and a woman trying to find her purpose in a world full of hopelessness. Location: Leongatha, Australia
4 comments:
Wow! have you thought of publishing a daily devotional? You're a woman of wisdom Lee and you have a gift of teaching. Congratulations on the blog, I love it and just so you know. I love you heaps and am eternally grateful to our loving Father for your friendship and sisterhood to me. Thankyou for sharing your heart so openly here on the blog.xoxo Maree
Hi Maree
Thanks for your encouragement. There's something about sharing your heart with others that gives you so much release, especially when you think along different lines to many modern day Christians!
Hi Lee! I have to say how much I loved this post. This is so similar to how God worked in me, for exactly the same reasons.
There especially is a great deal of pressure in the church to be something we are not, to wear masks. Sometimes it takes years to realize how much damage this does to us and our faith.
Thanks for your comment Erin. Isn't it amazing how God can use the most painful of situations to bring such freedom, purpose and joy into our lives. They can have their "feel good, looks good" version of Christianity. I'd much prefer Jesus! Lee
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